- A shortage of Kiwis;
- The Miracle of the Shingles, wherein one roof worth of shingles multiplied supernaturally into at least five rooves (roofs?) worth;
- The Incredible Shrinking Dumpster;
- Panic and Complaint;
- The Plague of the Surprise Rainstorm;
- A shortage of roofers;
- Nail gun compressor failure;
- A shortage of nails; and
- A shortage of shingles;
the roof is on there. And in a weird moment of foresight, the Captain bought the most burly, heaviest-duty, Category 5, 50-year-warranted shingles, so that we never have to do this again.
BEHOLD THE RATTY 20-YEAR-OLD SLICES OF CEDAR, AS USED BY PRIMITIVE CULTURES THAT HAVE COME BEFORE US.BEHOLD THE SHINGLES OF SECURITY NOW BLANKETING US WITH THEIR TARRY PROTECTION.
AND BEHOLD THE PATIO OF CLEANLINESS, FREE OF THE SHINGLES OF FILTH.
AND WE SHALL DWELL IN THE SHELTER OF PETROLEUM RESIDUE FOREVER...or until we move to an over-55 gated community and get a miniature poodle and a golf cart to get to the recreation hall.