How To Attract People Who Think You Are Beneath Them

From an ad in Ultimate, an Oregonian Sunday magazine designed for people who buy $7,000 barbeque grills for their illegal immigrant help to clean, and need a place for their trophy wives to pass the time between plastic surgeries:

"DEFINING YOU. As you move through the many aspects of your life, you want your defining style to always shine through."

I couldn't have said it more assily myself.

Here's another good one from an article on a development of million-dollar play-houses blighting the view from Smith Rock, using up high-yield farm land and calling its design influence "Napa/Tuscan Style": "The [Richingtons] step inside to the foyer, where the view into their home's great room and beyond is staggering."

I'd hate to make all my house guests stagger out of pure fabulousness. I'd rather use beer.

And I'd rather not see their ridiculous Disney Tuscan World houses from the top of Smith Rock State Park, the best hiking and rock climbing park in Oregon.

Harrumph.

I've got to go move through some aspects now.