And you would be right! About the wrinkles and fat!
Here are some things I will never learn:
- to use the Chapstick before the hand cream (How many times do I have to struggle to pop the cap off of the Chapstick with greasy hands? Apparently some more times.);
- to chop vegetables with the fingers rolled under (Note to self: buy more Hello Kitty Bandaids);
- to pump my own gas (at least without fear of conflagration);
- to look uncritically at photos of myself;
- to allow photos to be taken of me without bizarre facial contortions;
- to bluff at poker (apparently, it is not smooth to say "sh*t" when you look at your cards);
- to stop at one piece of chocolate candy;
- to remember to floss every night;
- to break my semicolon habit (I love you, John Irving); and
- to not buy clothes (a) over the internet, (b) in a hurry, or (c) from an intimidating salesperson.
So I'm not the only one for which age has not smoothed out all those little behavioral peccadillos (although it has allowed me the use of some obnoxiously hyper-lit words).