Tuesday, January 29, 2008

BULLETIN: Annie No Longer At Death's Door. Stay Tuned for Important Updates

All the doggy behaviorists tell you not to anthropomorphize your dogs by assuming they think like people. And I would agree with them if I only had Scotty. And Shelby. And every other dog I have known. But even Cesar the Great Dog Whisperer would agree with me that Annie thinks like an Olson twin.

Her last bout with anorexia seems to be resolving itself. It started a few days ago when she woke up cranky and wouldn't eat her breakfast. Being all hard-assed, I gave her two tries at eating it and then put her bowl in the fridge until dinner. At dinner, she nibbled, but mostly looked pathetic. At least I tried to be all hard-assed. By the third day, I was hand feeding her and fretting about taking her to the vet. Today she's over it. She must have dropped that holiday pound that she put on during all the festivities.

She also thinks that she is being followed by paparazzi. On walks she tries to stop for every passing car and look inside, attempting to make eye contact with the driver. HONEST. I believe she thinks that they have all been looking for her, and that she just wants to assure them that they have found her. And she expects them all, once they have seen her, to pull over and ask for her autograph. The worst part is that it actually happened the other day. A poor, grieving woman who had recently lost her collie saw Scotty and Annie and pulled over in her truck to ask me about where I got mine. (I don't think Annie realized that the woman was really more interested in Scotty and I didn't have the heart to tell her.)

There's also the posing, the horror she expresses in having to go outside to relieve herself, the fear of black cats (very superstitious), the substance abuse (Greenies) and the early bedtimes. I'm telling you. She is One Of Them. Or she really wants to be.

And for the record: I got them at the Humane Society. Vancouver's cast-offs. I suppose that might explain a lot.

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