Memorandum

To: God

Re: Virus Mix-Up

There seems to be a little misunderstanding regarding the cold virus currently enjoying its life cycle in my upper respiratory system. I believe it was meant for someone else, as it does not seem to fit me. I am currently unable to use my nose for breathing, and must use it solely for the disposal of snot and the subsequent destruction of several boxes of tissues.

I'm sure this was a simple oversight on your part and does not reflect your current policy towards me personally.

Any efforts on your part to remove this surely misdirected virus from my person would be much appreciated.

Yours truly,

piglet (Velma and Howard's daughter)

p.s.: Enjoyed the football game on Saturday. I knew you were on our side!