Olympics, Schmolympics, We Went to the Fair

Look at the ears on this thing. I could lose twenty blood-pressure points just by petting those ears. And he could mow my lawn in no time.

I need a goat, no, make that two goats, some floppy-eared rabbits, and a pig-steering cane.

This sheep was the most interested sheep in the whole place. Most of them made a point of ignoring me. She was fascinated by my picture-taking contraption. And a little alarmed.

This is not total chaos. Only 90% chaos, tops.

If you have never seen a 4-H pig-judging event, get the hell over to your county fair and get a load of this. Take eight to ten kids, give them canes (no, not special magic canes, or ones with tasers on the end, just canes) and a two-hundred-pound pig with some definite goals in mind, and tell them to parade their pigs in front of a judge, while attempting to steer them away from their main ambitions of taking out the competition in a more physical way.

Kids and their pigs. And their Canes of Swine Control. Heartwarming.

It's the best entertainment purchase of the summer.

Don't let them out, dude. They're just looking for trouble. Whatever you do, don't let them on the Tilt-a-Whirl.