Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Dissed Again By East Coasters With No Red-Hot West Coast Flair

Michigan Wolverines, a paragon of football chic? University of Oregon the exact opposite? Is everybody taking crazy pills?

Obviously, a certain fashionella loitering about in New York for fashion week needed a few more cocktail galas, or orgies, or limbo dance parties, or whatever they do to pass the time between fashion shows where they seem to measure the fashionesque-ness of any "line" by how much they can make anorexic 15-year-olds look ugly and misshapen, because a certain Nancy Armour of the Associated Press, having 10 minutes or so to spare, has taken it upon herself to rate college football uniforms. (You are free to enter that sentence in the writing competition of your choosing.)

That she has chosen to rate the most fashion-forward, Nike (tm) Brand designed team as the worst of the worst just shows how topsy-turvy her world has become.

The Michigan Wolverines. This is what she deems the epitome of gridiron style. Maybe back when people still used words like "gridiron." It's 2006, fashion weekers! And this is old school. It almost looks like its made out of wool, or "gabardine," or "discarded flour sacks." What they used to call "dry goods" at Ye Olde Countrye Store. And their helmets aren't even shiny. Actually, they look a lot like our old high school football uniforms. How precious. Now hold on to your eyeballs.
THIS is what a football uniform circa 2006 should look like. What, you can't see him clearly? That's because he's so friggin' fast. Then check this one out.

That's some fashion happening right there. That's taking some chances. Throwing some curves. Rocking the stadium. And you get the impression that he might have done some blocking drills against a Ram truck and won.

Put that in your catwalk and smoke it (because I hear smoking dulls the appetite, and they certainly won't let you in to the most important Fashion Week shows with those extra ounces you've packed on).

1 comment:

Drew said...

The Ducks fully rock the new Nike duds...no contest...OU way over Michigan.