WHO in the HELL invented grass? And why is it even LEGAL to plant it without first installing automatic sprinklers? I have spent all day repositioning this little sprinkler, and I'm not even DONE YET.
Over my years in the burbs, I have gone through so many lame sprinklers with names like TURBO on them, only to have them start dribbling like little old men with big old prostates within a week, that now I'm back to my original two-dollar plastic squirty ring that I bought when I couldn't afford the two bucks. It, of course, will never die because it has no moving parts and, more importantly, only irrigates one small, round patch of ground at a time.
Damn this grass. If I wasn't so concerned about what my neighbors thought, I would let it die. But I don't think I have the constitution for it. Watching the stuff go crispy and brown would be worse than spending my days pulling a hose around like a midget firefighter in ten-year-old Calvin Klein shorts.
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