Not Oprah's Favorite Things

I guess I should stop whining because my favorite bloggers aren’t posting fast enough to keep me constantly entertained, and post something my own lazy-ass self. Erk.

You know, I’m going to have to say that it SHOULD be just as calorie-consumptive to think as it is to work out physically. That it is not, is just crap.

Now, where were we? Ah, entertainment through blogging. Since I am probably unable at present to entertain you with what I can pull out of my keister, I will attempt instead to entertain myself.

Ye Olde Oregonian’s olde columnist (okay, that’s just mean and uncalled-for), Margie Boulé, had an entertaining column on what she called “emotional branding.” Things that make you feel warm and fuzzy. What she really ended up listing were things that her friends felt they couldn’t live without. Things that I would otherwise call “favorite things,” if Oprah hadn’t over-used the phrase until it literally became an Oprah-ism. But then again, why should Oprah be able to re-brand a very useful phrase? So to hell with Oprah, I’m calling this list:

My Favorite Things – Not Oprah’s.

• Diet Coke. Caffeine. Bubbles. The ghost of Tab past. What’s not to like? I drink it every day. When I don’t have any, I am less happy, and maybe a little headache-y. Is that bad?


• Dansko shoes. Namely, the “Professional” clog. I know, I’ve gushed about them before. That’s because they are a favorite thing! See the trend? (Wow, I’ve certainly got my snarky pants on today.)


• Toast made from Country Oven (Fred Meyer store brand) 12-Grain bread. No other bread in the world is as good for toast making. Oh, yes, there are other 12-grain breads, but not like this. These twelve grains add up to perfection. With butter. And either a 3-minute egg or a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese (not both). My favorite breakfast.


• NPR. Unbiased. Unboring. Occasionally cheeky (but rare enough to make me wait for it). With “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” on Saturdays to really make me laugh. “Wait-Wait” is the best hour in broadcasting. I’m serious. I laugh more during that show than anything on radio or TV, with the possibly exception of the Daily Show. Which is only a half-hour. So quantitatively, not as funny. "Wait-Wait" is available in a podcast now. Sweet.


• Baths. Just shy of scalding. With a book. I guess that’s not a brand.


• Bloggers. It’s fun to be able to comment and then possibly have my comments read by people I admire. I can say “I gave advice to Tom Bodett once,” and not be completely lying.


• Get Fuzzy. And before that, Zits (when I could have sworn I had the same 15-year-old. Now mine is all grown up, and the guy on Zits is still 15). And before that, Bloom County. And before that, Calvin and Hobbes. And always, Doonesbury (how does he do it? What a brain).


• Pinot Gris. Preferably Oak Knoll or Duck Pond (both admirable Oregon wineries). Ten bucks will get you a couple of glasses of pure bliss to share. Or not.


• Target has this awfully pseudo-kitchy new brand of candy they call “Choxie.” Ugh. But if you can get past the name, they make dynamite chocolate covered dried cherries. Can’t get enough of ‘em. That’s just my favorite chocolate this week. I could write a blog just on my current chocolate obsessions, but I will spare the bandwidth of the world from that.


• Athletic wear. Why do athletes get all the soft, smooth, breathable fabrics with seams that don’t chafe? I don’t care if I don’t always sweat in them. They feel good on sensitive skin. They are the most comfortable clothes, thus they shall be mine. Title 9 sells good stuff.

That’s about all the listing you should be required to read in one day. Add your favorite.