Sunday, January 15, 2006

In Which I Demonstrate A Scientific Phenomenon and Give Myself a Headache

Just this week there was a news blurb about a recent study showing that your brain is so fuzzy upon waking up, that you are about as useful as if you were sloppy drunk. I’m sure this came as no surprise to any of us who have actually experienced waking up. However, this morning, I performed a highly amusing demonstration of this phenomenon, and I am so glad no one was here to actually witness it.

Scot Evil could not stay in bed a minute past seven-thirty, so in defense of the carpet, I got up, threw some sweats on, and tossed him out the back while I fed the cat and made coffee. Before I could get the coffee made (of course), I noticed Scotty out in the back yard chewing on something nasty looking. Since I just finished giving him his second worming in one month, I wasn’t anxious to wait to find out what this back-yard treat would evolve into when it came out the other end, so I started around the kitchen counter, picking up a good head of steam through the family room, and slammed face first into the plate glass sliding door that divides the family room from the sun room. I’m considering leaving the face print on the glass for Drew to take a gander at. It’s quite Turin-esque in its picture-like quality.

I stumbled back, deciding that Scotty can chew another moment while I try to regain consciousness and assess the damage. The glass was surprisingly intact, so the shattering sound must have been something more in the vicinity of my skull. In school, they try to tell you that the brain doesn’t have any nerves of its own that are dedicated to its own pain. I think they missed some. I think I found them.

The rest of the day, I walked around like somebody trying not to wake a panther sleeping on her head (a panther that has a tendency to be cross when wakened), as I found quite early that sudden, jerky movements are followed by new shards of pain.

Scotty has taken a cue from the new, more pathetic-looking Piglet and has calmed down quite noticeably today.

I had scads of things to write about, but my mind is a little fuzzy and thinking only makes it worse. I will save them for later. Mind your head.


Dean said...

In which Barry Wicks demonstrates the terrifying effects of a fish-eye lense:

piglet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
piglet said...

I don't have any words for that.