Canine Butt Sniffing Unit

I was wondering today, while vacuuming up enough hair to cover a standard bison, why we feed, board, and serve two dogs when they don’t DO anything, like herd sheep or sniff bombs.

I can only hope that after the apocalypse, dog hair will become a form of currency. Dog hair and a slobbery optimism without any basis in reality. I’m not sure how they might set up a standard for that last one, but I suppose that would be up to the post-apocalyptic fed.

Damn Kids Sneaking Around to Win at the Line when I Had the Lane

So I thought I was going to give Dean something to feed his fury which would feed his speed at Worlds by beating him soundly and effortlessly in Words with Friends. Now I can only hope I have fed his taste for winning by losing on the last play of the game.

Damn kids.

Playing a game of Inter-Continental Scrabble has made me feel horse-and-buggy old, as I remember sending Drew air mail letters from Germany in 1982 because a phone call was prohibitively expensive and difficult to schedule.

Next step: Intergalactic Scrabble!

Wino With Limits

If you want to play Words with Friends with me at 2:30 a.m., just give me three glasses of wine before bed. I am guaranteed to be awake between 2:30 and 4:00. Just two glasses? You’ll have to wait until morning. Guess that’s my liver giving me a gentle nudge. Or a cry of desperation. I prefer nudge.

I like Lincoln, but Maybe Not That Much

I bought a biography of Lincoln by David Herbert Donald. It won awards and stuff, and it is a thorough and readable biography. I read the Gore Vidal biography years ago, and enjoyed it so much that I thought I would enjoy a “real” Lincoln biography. But I’m afraid in the years since, my attention span has collapsed in upon itself to leave a tiny hole through which information must travel at steam-whistle speed. I can’t tell you how many times I checked Twitter in the two hours I devoted to reading this afternoon. I can’t tell you because it would be embarrassing. Suffice it to say that I am on page 73.

My mind wandered. I really should have given up and committed to spending the afternoon painting, or given my restless state of mind, sanding a frame or cleaning my studio.

I wish I had better control over my state of mind. I hear you say “learn to meditate.” That is good advice, imaginary person, but since my mind’s restlessness is based on my compulsion to learn and do everything before its too late (miming the international fake knife across throat motion), I have trouble sitting still and commanding my mind to do the same when it feels that every moment spent sitting still is a moment lost.

Well. It didn’t long for me to make the link between a Lincoln biography and the race towards death. Wait. That’s pretty much what any Lincoln biography is.

For Dean and Jenny

The Actual World Championships

Dean goes to LA tomorrow to prepare for World Track Cycling Championships.

We always joke about the weekly race series down at Portland International Raceway being the “PIR Championships of the World” because beginners and Master level racers on $5,000 bikes take it so seriously, but THIS is the ACTUAL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS.

He’s had a lot of help, and yet, and also, he’s done it all by himself. Godspeed to him. I hope he has a blast.