Thursday, May 12, 2005

Who took Dennis Miller's brain? And show?

Wow, I am so not making this up when I say that when I sat down to write this, Dennis Miller's show on CNBC had not been canceled. When I went to Google to look up a fact for this very posting, I read the news that was released approximately five hours ago. This puts me in a relatively awkward position. Do I continue to complete my thoughts on the dumbing of Dennis Miller, or let him recover without my rant (although it is so backwoodsishly obscure and microscopic that it is virtually invisible to anyone within his posse)? Well, I already spent 45 minutes on it - hate to waste time and all...and if he wasn't such a Republikisser, it would never have come to this...

Remember when Dennis Miller was funny? And seemed to have read - and actually retained - the same books you were forced to read in college?

What happened?

He seems to be not only less witty and literate, but actually seems to be dodging actual facts - a true sign of a member of what has been cleverly termed the "neo-con death cult."

He says he "saw the light" after being in New York during 9/11, and felt that it was all important to put his faith behind the president's crusade - oops - I mean "war against terror." That's cool. Except now he seems to see the light on the president's war on Social Security - oops - I mean Social Security privatization plan, and the president's war on the United Nations - oops - I mean his nomination of John Bolton, and his war on Democrats - oops - no, I guess that's the right term.

I don't think the far-right wing is technically advanced enough to produce pod people. And they don't believe in using stem cells, so the evil clone idea is out. I guess I'm going to have to go with brain washing.

The question we have to ask ourselves is twofold: does brain washing cause enough brain damage to account for the obviously huge drop in IQ (come on, doesn't anyone remember those awesome Monday Night Football freak shows when Al Michaels and Dan Fouts couldn't follow one Dennis Miller sentence to its conclusion without their eyes wandering back to the game in a desperate search for something they could grasp? I loved that!), and two, does anyone remember him dropping out of sight long enough for the brain washing to have taken such a wildly obvious effect? Or can they do that by sneaking into your bedroom at night and wispering in your ear? Or replacing your Special K with Special W?

I don't know. It's just a thought. And I have really lost my appetite for the whole subject since the cancellation thing. Hate to kick a fella when he's down. I guess that's just the Democrat in me.

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